Elizabeth’s recording this one mid-house-painting, which has revealed some uncomfortable truths about the zero tolerance she has for disruption to her routine these days.
In honor of spooky season, she rewinds to her teenage horror loving era — cemeteries after dark, VHS slashers, Faces of Death videos — and confirms her nervous system has since filed for retirement. These days she caps out around G-rated Disney “mild peril”. It’s fine, it’s chill.
So instead of a House of Horrors with actual monsters, she builds her own, room by terrifying room: misused apostrophes, self-checkout hell, doctors who dismiss everything as stress, an eternal conference-room icebreaker loop, a museum of her exes (spoiler: turns out, not as scary as she thought), and — in the role of final boss — a room full of finance and tech bros “double-clicking on synergies.”
It’s less a haunted house than a guided tour of modern life’s actual horrors, and somehow the exes aren’t even the scariest part.
She closes with the one piece of advice that isn’t a bit: don’t let spooky season distract you from voting on November 3rd.
